I hate naps

“But I don’t want to take a nap!”

No, this isn’t my three-year-old talking. I mean, it is sometimes. But this was me, in the doctor’s office. While he was telling me that I am allowed, and probably should take naps.

I don’t like taking naps. I love when my children take naps. Just don’t tell me to do it. Even though, in this phase of life, I desperately, desperately need to take them. Almost daily. 

I hate them because I have a million other things I should be doing. Unload the dishwasher. Fold laundry. Vacuum. Mop. Get dinner ready. Play with my children. Weed and water the garden. Read one of the million books on my bookshelf. Clean off my desk. Finally finish the second daughter’s baby book. She’s three now. Sorry middle child. 

I hate them because I feel selfish taking time for myself when my kids are home. I hate taking naps when the kids are out of the house because that’s my free time to do all the things I can’t do when they are home. 

I hate them because it takes me an hour to fully wake up from the nap. Usually an hour spent playing on my phone or watching Netflix. Damn Netflix and your addictive shows. And damn the autoplay feature. 

But in this season of life, I get three things: my family, my work, and apparently, naps. 

“You’re a caregiver. You’re taking care of more things than you realize.” Thanks, doctor who I’ve never met before. Don’t make me cry in the exam room! 

I’ve been having some very annoying health issues the past few months. I’m exhausted. I have three children, ages 5, 3, and 1. I know I should be tired. But not THIS tired. Not “if I don’t get a nap right now I’m going to pass out” tired. I’m lightheaded. Not dizzy; just woozy. My vision has changed. I haven’t worn glasses since I worked in an office four years ago. I now need my glasses daily. I went to the optometrist in January. He told me I don’t need to go back for three years because my eyes haven’t changed. Except now they have. I’m going back next week. 

“Do I have a brain tumor?” I asked the doctor this morning. 

“Well, I don’t have x-ray vision, but I doubt it.” 

Phew. 

Besides permission to take naps, he gave me a few other tips: No phones or reading in bed. Also no TV in bed, but we don’t have a TV in our room, so no problemo. No eating two hours before bed (I’m not excited about this one).  Sleep with earplugs in and make my husband deal with any nighttime wakings (this one I love). Go for a walk, if I feel like it. Drink more water. Naps cannot be longer than 40 minutes.

So, I still don’t like taking naps, but for this season, I’ll suck it up, put on my eye mask, and nap when I can. Thanks, doc. 

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